What is what to do when bipolar partner ignores you?

It's tough when a partner with bipolar disorder ignores you, but understanding the context can help. Here's a breakdown of potential reasons and what you can do:

• Understand the Reasons:

  • Depressive Episodes: During a depressive episode, withdrawal is a common symptom. Your partner may be isolating themselves due to feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, or extreme fatigue. It's not necessarily about you.

  • Manic Episodes: Paradoxically, ignoring you can also occur during a manic episode. They might be hyper-focused on new projects, impulsive behaviors, or grandiose ideas, leaving little room for relationships. They may also become irritable or easily agitated, leading them to avoid contact to prevent conflict.

  • Mixed Episodes: These episodes involve features of both mania and depression. The rapid shifts in mood can make it difficult for them to maintain consistent communication and connection.

  • Medication Changes/Side Effects: Changes in medication or experiencing side effects can also impact their behavior and communication patterns.

  • Stress and Triggers: External stressors or triggers can exacerbate bipolar symptoms and lead to withdrawal.

• What to Do (and Not Do):

  • Give Them Space (Initially): If they are withdrawing, avoid being overly pushy or demanding. A little space can sometimes be helpful. However, don't let it go on indefinitely without reaching out in a supportive way.

  • Communicate Calmly and Gently: When you do reach out, use a calm, gentle tone. Avoid accusatory language or blaming. Express your concern and ask if they're doing okay. For example, "I've noticed you've been quiet lately, and I'm a little worried. Is everything alright?"

  • Remind Them You're There for Support: Reiterate your love and support. Remind them that you're there to listen without judgment. Offer specific ways you can help, such as running errands, making meals, or just spending time with them.

  • Don't Take It Personally: It's incredibly important to remember that their behavior is likely driven by their illness, not by their feelings for you. Taking it personally will only add to your own stress and make it harder to support them.

  • Avoid Arguing or Engaging in Conflict: During an episode, rational discussion can be difficult. Avoid getting into arguments or trying to reason with them when they're not in a stable state.

  • Encourage Them to Seek Treatment: If they are not already in treatment, gently encourage them to seek professional help. If they are in treatment, remind them to contact their doctor or therapist.

  • Self-Care is Crucial: This situation can be emotionally draining. Prioritize your own self-care. Maintain your own routines, hobbies, and social connections. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.

  • Emergency Plan: If they are exhibiting signs of suicidal ideation or other dangerous behaviors, do not hesitate to seek immediate professional help. Have an emergency plan in place, including contact information for their doctor, therapist, and local crisis hotlines.

  • Establish Clear Boundaries: While understanding is important, it's also crucial to establish healthy boundaries. Bipolar disorder is not an excuse for abuse or consistently disrespectful behavior. Clearly communicate your boundaries and enforce them consistently.

• Seek Professional Guidance:

  • Therapy (Individual or Couples): Therapy can provide you with tools and strategies for coping with the challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder. Couples therapy can help you both improve communication and navigate the illness together.